Sahiyo’s new book club officially launches in October
Event: Sahiyo Discusses: Seven by Farzana Doctor Date: October 13th, 2021 Tme: 8 pm EST Registration Link: https://www.flipcause.com/secure/cause_pdetails/MTI0Mzc5?mc_cid=58973cee37&mc_eid=UNIQID Starting this October 2021, Sahiyo is officially launching our book club, Sahiyo Discusses, with our inaugural event, Sahiyo Discusses: Seven by Farzana Doctor. Designed to bring people together through literature, art, and media, this club will host quarterly meetings to bring together activists and allies in Sahiyo’s network to discuss the chosen piece of media. With themes ranging from feminism, equality, bodily autonomy, women-centered movements, and sexual empowerment – this club will focus on uplifting the stories and experiences of women everywhere. Our first meeting will be held on October 13th, at 8 pm EST over Zoom. We will be joined by Farzana Doctor, who will talk about her novel, Seven. Seven explores themes of family, culture, politics, and FGM/C with a surprising ending. Sahiyo Discusses members will have the opportunity to discuss the book with Farzana as well as ask pertinent questions. Admission to Sahiyo Discusses will be on a pay-what-you-can basis, with a recommended suggested $10.00 USD donation per event. If you or anyone in your network is interested in joining us please register and donate here. Thank you all for your continued dedication to Sahiyo’s mission, and we look forward to seeing you all there!
What I learned from survivors and advocates on my podcast about female genital cutting
By Aubrey Bailey I graduated this April 2021 from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in graphic design. For my senior capstone project I was instructed to choose a topic that I would stick with for a year and then conduct in-depth research, write a research paper, and display my findings visually through an exhibition. In April 2020, I went home to Gilbert, Arizona, to finish my winter semester under quarantine because of COVID-19, and while I was home my dad introduced the topic of female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C). I was dumbfounded that I had never heard of it before. I could not fathom that so many women were undergoing this practice in different parts of the world and I did not know about it. If I do not know about this, then who else does not know? Who does know? Who is taking action? I realized FGM/C was a topic about which I needed to learn more. I could not simply move on after understanding this information. Over the past year of my research on the topic, I became passionate about raising awareness of FGM/C, and also in advocating for women’s rights and raising awareness on violence against women. For my capstone project, I created a podcast to explain why FGM/C happens, to share women’s stories, to educate listeners on how to help, and to bring outside professional knowledge to help us better understand the topic. Through my research, I found Sahiyo–United Against Female Genital Cutting, and was impressed with their content and purpose. I reached out and asked if they would be willing to help me make this podcast possible. They were so gracious and introduced me to their network of individuals to ask if they would be willing to participate in my podcast. I was able to talk with some of the most incredible individuals and listen to experiences from people with different backgrounds. It was truly eye-opening and life-changing. I learned so much from my time interviewing everyone, and I am so grateful to Sahiyo for making it all happen. In addition to the podcast, I designed an exhibition displaying my research on FGM/C at Brigham Young University. For the exhibition, I created a poster series displaying facts about FGM/C by integrating a custom font that I created which has sharp characteristics throughout the posters. I also designed and installed a floral installation that symbolizes women. Flowers are beautiful and represent proud and glorious femininity and within the installation, each flower represents a woman. The hanging flowers represent women who have not been cut and the flowers on the ground represent the women who have been cut. Just because these flowers are not suspended from the ceiling does not lessen their value or their beauty in any way. They are still flowers but are just a little different. These women, like the flowers, are unique because they have been cut and have a piece of their body missing. But they are still just as powerful and beautiful. My hope through the exhibition was that individuals would feel moved to action and inspired to listen to the podcast to do their part in educating themselves and others on the topic to normalize the conversation so we can finally see it end.
Storytelling with Sahiyo: Four actors narrate FGC survivor stories at a unique event
On March 16, Sahiyo partnered with Women in Film and Television International India to organise its first-ever on-ground storytelling event in Mumbai, India. The event, titled “Storytelling with Sahiyo”, featured four critically-acclaimed Indian film actors who performed narrative readings of the personal stories of four Female Genital Cutting survivors. The event was led and hosted by Sahiyo co-founder Insia Dariwala, along with WIFT founder Petrina D’Rozario. The actors — Rasika Dugal, Sobhita Dhulipala, Plabita Borthakur and Dolly Thakore — read the stories of survivors Fatema, Insiya, Samina and an anonymous mother who regrets getting her daughter cut. The stories highlighted the different ways in which FGC affects women who are cut and the difficult decisions that mothers often have to make when they are caught between tradition and the desire to protect their daughters. [youtube url=”https://youtu.be/b6V8Wu3RxDI”] After the emotional readings, which left some audience members in tears, three of the survivors present at the event were felicitated by the actors. This was followed by a panel discussion with the survivors, who talked about why they decided to share their stories and what kind of backlash they face in the community for speaking out. The event also included a second panel discussing Women and their Changing Narratives, in which women filmmakers Insia Dariwala, Priya Goswami, Petrina D’Rozario, Tanuja Chandra and Dolly Thakore discussed the mainstreaming of women’s issues through the medium of film.
The unsolved riddle: conversations with survivors (Part 2)
By Hina Javed (This is the second part in a series of essays by Hina Javed on her experience of reporting on FGC in Pakistan. Read the whole series here: Pakistan Journal.) That night, after witnessing truth being replaced with the censor’s lie, I spent hours alone in my room, flinching at every little thought that crossed my mind. I sat on the tiniest corner of my bed, locked in a deep sulk. In the ensuing minutes and the quiet of that night, thoughts frantically raced through my head in an attempt to find the answer. Was the issue of female genital cutting (FGC) so intimidating that it could not be expressed aloud in the Pakistani media? Was this the way of patriarchy? It made you suffer in silence. I traced my steps back to where I had deviated from the norm. The more I struggled to solve the mystery of why my well-researched article on FGC in Pakistan was no longer going to be published, the more I was convinced that the questions would be put away in the recesses of my mind, like an unsolved riddle. In that instant, brief fragments of past conversations bubbled up in my consciousness. How bizarre it was that the reminders came flooding in at the very moment disorder took over my existence. I was now back to square one, having my first conversation with Amber* after she acknowledged the existence of FGC so matter-of-factly. “But why would you cut an innocent girl who is still tasting the sweetness of childhood?” I asked, trying to make sense of it all. “There is no harm in it,” Amber spoke with an indifference. “It makes the child pure for the rest of her life. We live in a sinful age where girls deviate when they hit puberty. Khatna is done to preserve their chastity and it’s a good thing!” I nodded, less in agreement, and more as a courtesy to show I was listening. “You know how in foreign lands girls explore their sexuality before tying the knot?” She said in an almost condescending tone. “Circumcised girls don’t indulge in such things.” Amber’s words hit me like a ton of bricks. We had been friends for some time now and frequently discussed women’s rights, consent, and feminism. In every conversation, it surprised me how much the two of us thought alike. However, this time I could not believe my ears as I listened to her justify female genital cutting. I held myself from lashing out in protest at her promoting FGC. As Amber’s friend, and not a journalist, I could have countered her justifications. But, I refrained from hurting her religious sentiments and gave her the benefit of doubt to see if I was missing a point. “But doesn’t it hurt a girl’s sexuality as she grows up?” I asked, my face scrunching up into an expression of worry. “What if your daughter doesn’t want this for herself?” “It doesn’t work like that,” Amber said, softening her tone. “There was a time when family elders used to mask reality and constantly take us by surprise. There was less communication and more innocence. But, when it came to my daughter, I mentally prepared her for it ahead of time.” I nodded, again less in agreement and more in courtesy. “The doctor asked me not to hide anything from my daughter. In fact, this doctor is so professional, she doesn’t circumcise girls without their consent.” “What was your daughter’s reaction like?” I asked in a muffled tone, full of disbelief at what Amber was telling me. “She was scared and had her fears, but she knew what was coming. After a few conversations, she made peace with it,” Amber went on. “My daughter will never blame me because I took her consent. Mothers who do it without their daughter’s consent are wrong, in my opinion. There is no harm in asking. They are girls. They will understand.” Listening to Amber made me realize how we, as a society, misunderstand the concept of consent. The definition of ‘consent’ is written in crayon; raw, unfinished, unprocessed. What is confusing to a great many people is that consent cannot be given by a minor who because of their age cannot grasp the full implications of what is happening to them. Consent is more than forcing a grudging “yes” out of someone; it means getting informed permission from a person when they have the reasoning capacities of an adult. This lack of understanding consent can cause a lifelong impact on a girl’s sexuality when they are an adult – one that is eternally painful. Amber and I gauged each other’s expressions with an uncertainty only we could discern. She was patient with my questions, but now I could feel a thought forming at the edge of her consciousness. She was wondering if perhaps I viewed her differently, thought negatively of her actions. She was starting to get a little frazzled. I changed the topic and asked her if I could call the following day. That night, I decided to pursue this topic as a story. I perused online resources and posted in a few closed forums to connect with more survivors. The mere thought of doing a thorough investigation on a topic as sensitive as FGC seemed far-fetched – almost impossible. I received several warnings from friends and colleagues asking me to back off. I didn’t. The next day, I brewed coffee, cleaned my work space, drafted the questions and called Amber. Since my journalistic hat was now on, I decided to remain neutral – barely interrupting her as she spoke. “Hello!” Amber said after picking up her phone. “Hi!” I responded. We waited for each other to fill the silence as if we had yet to discover the language in which we could really communicate on this topic. “I hope I am not being a bother,” I said after 60 seconds. “Not at all! Shoot me your questions, but
Each One Reach One 2: Read this conversation guide to get started
by Sahiyo and WeSpeakOut Each One Reach One 2, our month-long outreach campaign that coincides with Ramzan, calls upon everyone, especially Bohra women and men, to reach out to at least one other Bohra to engage in a meaningful discussion around Khatna. Our focus this year is to move the conversation forward, by exploring ways to respectfully and sensitively engage in discussions with our family, friends and the wider community. Since the arrests in Detroit, many of you have reached out to us asking for advice on how to broach the topic of Khatna with your close friends and family, and how to have sustained conversations with them. To help you with this, we have prepared a guide on effective communication in the context of Khatna. We would like you to reflect on this guide as you begin and continue your conversations. In the sections below, we explore various facets of conversation: from the power of listening and the method of storytelling, to the challenges of acknowledging nuance and understanding the importance of continued dialogue. Finally, in keeping with the spirit of this sacred month, we encourage you to listen with love, speak with kindness, think without anger, and love without judgment. Effective Conversation Guide 1) Listening: The simple act of genuinely listening to another person is powerful. Listen with your full attention, without judgment or assumptions. Simply listen. Instead of giving advice or telling a person what to feel or do, be a sounding board and brainstorm options. However, setting appropriate limits is important for effective communication. If someone is being hateful towards you, it is okay to not continue the conversation. a) Use open-ended questions: Unlike leading questions or close-ended questions that can be answered only by yes or no, open-ended questions help people explore their own truths and connect with their own inner strength. Ask “What are you feeling?” instead of “Do you feel all right?” b) Use reflective language: Use phrases such as “I hear you’re feeling…” or “It sounds to me like…” coupled with more tentative statements like “I wonder if you’re feeling…?” or “Did I get that right?” This helps people to name what they are experiencing, invites them to correct your understanding, and conveys your sincere interest in what they have to say. When you reflect back the language that people use to describe their own experience, you meet them on their own ground. Some FGM/C-related words to keep in mind as you listen to someone’s specific language include how they refer to FGM/C – “khatna,” “FGM”, “FGC”, “female circumcision”, “procedure”. Using the same words as the speaker lets her know that you respect her point of view, even if it’s not your own. c) Validate personal experiences: Stigma and trauma can often make people feel like they are alone, or that they are the only ones feeling that way. When you initially listen to their stories, it is not the time to engage in a political fight or an academic argument. Whether it is a woman sharing her experience of khatna or someone who states that khatna must be done for religious reasons, help the person feel heard, without judgement. You can share your views at a later stage. 2) Sharing stories during conversations: There is an art and a craft to storytelling that can be intimidating for people who find it hard to believe they have any story worth sharing, especially if it’s about something personal, taboo, or hidden. Storytelling practices support an individual’s ability to think through what it is she wants to say, whom she wants to say it to, and what she hopes will happen as a result, while retaining significant control over the use and distribution of her narrative. a) Know the risks: Sharing personal stories could help a person feel more empowered and connected to other friends or family members who have undergone FGC. But it can also come with personal risks: a person may feel more vulnerable and alone after sharing her story, or might be shamed by others. Don’t pressure, coerce or shame others into telling their story, even if it is to promote a cause they believe in. Work to create the conditions necessary for someone to feel encouraged and supported to share their story with you. b) Use whole stories, not talking points: Stories have the ability to persuade, influence, inspire, and galvanize people to action. Human, vulnerable, authentic personal stories don’t fit easily into talking points, but they have incredible power to connect with others across differences. Work to create the conditions necessary for a someone to feel encouraged and supported to share their story with you. 3) Embrace Grey Areas: A person who has undergone khatna may have experienced pain and sadness and/or nothing at all. She may want to keep it private and need emotional connections with others. She may think FGC is wrong and still believe it is a religious right. She may feel many other combinations of emotions that could seem inconsistent at the outset. It is important to recognise that multiple truths can live together simultaneously. Issues around how khatna has happened and her feelings around it are not always black and white, and to open the door to change and new insights, we need to acknowledge and explore the grey areas. It is helpful to use a ‘both/and’ approach instead of an ‘either/or’ approach. Change your perspective: Sure, it may be easier if the whole world saw the issue in the same way you do, but that’s not realistic. Conflict exists because we are human, and because our different background, values, and beliefs mean that we perceive the world and its issues in unique, diverse ways. Hold space for universal human truths–such as our shared ability to be compassionate and loving–and recognize some experiences as specific and particular, such as the experience
Mariya joins Young Philanthropist Responding to Gender-Based Violence Panel
On February 1st, the Board of Directors for Jane Doe Inc., the Massachusetts statewide coalition against domestic & sexual violence organized their first young philanthropist event that included a panel of changemakers who are organizing against gender-based violence in the greater Boston area and beyond. The conversation took place at WeWork in Boston and included discussions around innovative perspectives on what it means to be a young ‘philanthropist’ in 2017. Panelists included Kendra Hicks (Resist Inc.); Meg Stone (IMPACT Boston); Rani Neutil (Safr); and Mariya Taher (Sahiyo).
A conversation on Khatna with Suleimani Bohras
Conversations on khatna and social norms with Mumbai community workers
On October 6, Sahiyo co-founders Insia Dariwala and Aarefa Johari were given an opportunity to introduce the topic of Female Genital Cutting to a host of grassroots social workers in Mumbai. This opportunity came through an invitation from the Justice and Peace Commission, one of many organisations run by the Catholic Church in Mumbai to work with local communities across religious lines. The Commission runs community centres across the city, but the session that Sahiyo conducted with more than 20 social workers was held at JPC’s headquarters at St. Pius College. Most of the participants in the session were grassroots activists working in their respective communities and neighbourhoods on a range of issues, particularly women and children’s rights. The topic of FGC or khatna was new to many of them, and they were keenly interested in Sahiyo’s introduction to the issue, the explanation of the reasons cited for practicing khatna and how FGC is essentially a social norm like so many others. Participants were then encouraged to discuss various social norms in their own cultures and how they could possibly be combatted. This was an enthusiastic and very involved audience, and the topic of social norms led to very lively discussions. Predictably, the women grew more lively while talking about menstrual taboos and one woman shared a heartening story of how her young daughter changed the norm in their home by refusing to follow her grandmother’s menstrual restrictions. Most of the participants were women, but the few men in the audience spoke of the pressures to be ‘masculine’ as a social norm. One of the activists talked about how she makes both boys and girls at her NGO do household chores, even though the boys are not expected to do the sweeping or cleaning at in their own homes. After the talk, several participants expressed an interest in discussing FGC with their own Bohra friends. We sincerely thank the Justice and Peace Commission for giving us this opportunity.
Last Day of Each One Reach One
Each One Reach One, a unique campaign by Sahiyo (in collaboration with Speak Out on FGM), started a month back on NO FGC/M day, has almost come to an end. Today, on the International Women’s day, Sahiyo concludes the last day of the EORO campaign. The road to change is a long one but we are glad to have made a start by initiating a conversation and breaking silence on Khatna. And for this we have you to thank, for engaging with the campaign and sharing your stories and narratives with us! Sahiyo is overwhelmed by the response the campaign has garnered and we hope to hear more from you. Please do continue to reach out to as many people as possible and sharing your stories with us. For reaching out to us, please email on info@sahiyo.com. We are looking forward to hearing about your Each One Reach One experience and more!
A Word of Thanks From Sahiyo’s Co-founder, Mariya Taher
I need to say something and I don’t think it can wait. In the last few days, I’ve had two very heart-warming conversations with men who have thanked me for the work that I’m doing to better the world for their daughters. I never expected to receive those comments or to have these men express themselves in the way that they have with me. I didn’t realize how much it would affect me, and that as I sit here in this café writing this blog entry that I would have trouble not tearing up, and not feeling grateful to them. I’m not sure about you, but me, I love the work that I do, and I know that working in the gender violence field is not easy. It can be thankless. It can put you at odds with many members of your family and your friends. You will run up against those who try to challenge you, who will just not understand where you are coming from, and what you are trying to fight for. You will know that all you can do and hope for is to make a small dent in the world. That if only one person benefits from the work you do, that it is enough. But, I don’t think you ever really expect to be thanked for your work. And so, when you are, maybe like me, you will shed a tear in relief. So, to those men, I want to say, thank you. To everyone and anyone who has encouraged me, thank you. Sometimes, I don’t really know what it is I’m working towards. I don’t know if I’m making a difference. And I don’t know if anyone out there cares that I am doing this work. Your words have comforted me and made me really understand that I am doing important work. That I have a voice, a story, a role to play in making our world a little safer. Thank you. ~ Mariya