Reflecting on the 2023 Activists Retreat
By Samman Masud In September 2023, activists, survivors of female genital cutting (FGC), and community members from the Bohra community came from all over the U.S. to gather in-person at Sahiyo’s 6th annual Activists Retreat. This three-day affair, in Atlanta, Georgia, brought together individuals belonging to the Bohra community to deepen relationships with one another, increase knowledge on FGC, and gain tools on how to advocate against FGC. This year, as in the past, the Retreat was filled with presentations, educational videos, group discussions, action planning sessions, and self-care activities. During the Retreat, survivors and community members were able to reflect on their personal experiences and connection with FGC in a safe and supportive environment, explore advocacy strategies, and discuss challenges they face in trying to discuss FGC. Having recently joined Sahiyo in August 2023 as their Community Engagement Coordinator, this was my first time attending the Activists Retreat. Although I assisted Sahiyo staff and volunteers to prepare educational materials in the weeks leading up to the retreat, I arrived in Atlanta not knowing what to expect from the attendees at the retreat. To say that the three days I spent with other activists in Atlanta were humbling and inspiring would be an understatement. While I had read academic papers and participated in discussions about FGC in class settings during graduate school, I had little knowledge about the prevalence of FGC within Bohra diaspora communities in the U.S — something I developed an in-depth understanding of from the presentations and survivor testimonies at the retreat. Listening to survivors who were Bohra recount their experiences with FGC, and other Bohra activists at the retreat reaffirmed to me the significance of community-led movements. I noticed that the activists, from various age groups and diverse personal and professional backgrounds were able to comfortably share their experiences of FGC and anti-FGC activism in a safe space–one that was void of ‘othering’ or Islamophobic narratives that are often invoked by human rights organizations when communities of color discuss gender-based violence. It was promising to see that the activists, despite their personal and professional commitments, took out time to be with other like-minded individuals to learn, and restrategize how to best address FGC within their communities to achieve lasting results. Together, we participated in workshops, engaged in difficult but important conversations, which were followed by self-care activities like journaling exercises or yoga at the patio that allowed us to unwind and relax. We concluded this year’s Activists Retreat with individualized and group action plans to improve anti-FGC advocacy efforts and left with renewed commitments for our cause. As Sahiyo develops our Activists Retreat program in the future we hope to expand this program to other communities impacted by FGC. [youtube url=”https://youtu.be/4bsrA1aW-ME”]
Applications open for the 2023 in-person Bohra Activists Retreat
From September 15-17th, Sahiyo U.S. will host our 7th Activists Retreat in Atlanta, Georgia. Sahiyo hosts annual Activist Retreats to bring the Bohra community together in a safe space and discuss the issue of khatna (or female genital cutting) in efforts to collaboratively work towards ending it. Since 2018, over 60 people have taken part. Participants of the Retreat are often people speaking out against FGC — who work either publicly or anonymously — to raise community awareness about the need to end this harmful practice. Anyone with a connection to the Bohra community based in the U.S. is welcome to apply! Apply to the 2023 in-person Activists Retreat here. Bohra U.S. Activists Retreat 2023 Frequently Asked Questions Who is this retreat for? The Sahiyo Activists Retreat is open to anyone who is connected to the Bohra community and who is interested in ending the practice of khatna and other types of FGM/C. Learn more about what the retreat is all about from past retreat attendees who have written for our blog! Also watch this video. I am not an “active” member of the Bohra community, am I still welcome? Yes! You do not have to be a “card-carrying” member of the Bohra community to attend. Your connection to the Bohra community can be cultural and/or familial. I was not subjected to khatna/I was subjected to khatna but I do not recall my experience/I was subjected to khatna but I have had no adverse effects from my experience. Am I still welcome? Yes! One does not have to be subjected to trauma to have an interest in ending the practice. Everyone has a responsibility to do something and everyone interested in doing something can benefit by meeting with others who want to take action and learn more about what can be done. How much does it cost to attend the Retreat? There are no fees to attend Sahiyo’s Activists Retreat. Travel scholarships are also available to reimburse Retreat attendees for their domestic travel. Will I have to get my own hotel and pay for my own food? Nope! We do not want cost to be a barrier to attending this event and have sought out funding to be able to support all retreat attendees with lodging, travel, and food costs will be covered by Sahiyo. If you have any food restrictions, preferences, or allergies, please do not hesitate to let us know as we get closer to the date of the event! Is it possible to attend the Retreat virtually? While Sahiyo has hosted Virtual Retreats for activists in the past, the September 2023 retreat is intended to be an in-person retreat. We have not hosted an in-person event since 2019, and are looking forward to the connection that can come through gathering in-person. If you are interested in attending virtual retreats in the future, please be on the lookout for future virtual retreat announcements! We would still love to see you in person in September! Is it possible to attend the retreat for just a single day? The purpose of the Activists Retreat is to allow activists to get together over the course of an entire weekend to build community, find support, and plan for future activism to end khatna or FGC. We ask that retreat attendees be able to attend all three days of the retreat in order to participate in all of the events, discussions, and presentations we have planned What should I bring to the Activists Retreat? Bring yourself, a positive attitude, and some space in your suitcase for swag if you’re traveling in to attend! What sorts of things will I learn at the Activists Retreat? A more complete agenda of events will be released to all Retreat Attendees closer to the date of the event. At this time, Retreat Attendees can expect to meet other activists, speak about their experiences as activists, and also learn from guest speakers. We will also have discussions about future activism, community building, and the Sahiyo Activists Toolkit. Learn more about Activists Retreat by visiting our blog and hearing from past participants themselves. Do you have more questions? Email us at info@sahiyo.org today!
Do I belong? Reflecting on the Activists Retreat
By Sakina Sharp Sahiyo’s annual Activists Retreat is a great way for both women and men connected to the Bohra community to discuss the issue of khatna, or female genital cutting (FGC). This is my third year attending the event, and I appreciate that this Retreat offers a safe space to have conversations about khatna. The first year I attended the event, I wondered if I belonged; I did not know if there was a space for someone like me who grew up Bohra, but does not currently fulfill all the requirements of the culture. I also wondered if there was a space for those Bohras who do “all the things,” and stand up against the practice of khatna. When I attended the Retreat, I realized that there was space for both. I found the Retreat to be cathartic, and it gave me an opportunity to process what had happened to me as a child. During this recent Retreat, the question of belonging came up again, but this time with a different flavor. Some participants wondered if they belonged because they had not personally undergone FGC. We all wonder if we belong, and the truth is, we all do. Men belong because we need their voices in the rooms where discussions on FGC are taking place. Women who have not undergone FGC belong because they can prevent future generations from holding on to this practice. Practicing Bohras belong because FGC is not a religious practice; we can be religious and still stand against khatna. Survivors belong because we know first hand the impact of khatna. All of our voices are important, and we all belong. Learn more about Sahiyo’s Activists Retreat here.
End FGM – Save our daughters
By: Arwa Country of Residence: India Today, I’m referring the most underrated topic ‘khatna’ or Female Genital Mutilation (FGM/C). I call it underrated because it doesn’t seem like educated persons in my society are talking about it even a little bit. It’s also called ‘Khafz’ in Islamic terms, and it’s a ritual in the Dawoodi Bohra community. Khatna usually takes place at the age of seven with girls. In the process of khatna, they cut the tip of the female sexual part ‘clitoris’ from the female genitalia with the use of a crude blade without giving any precautions. The purpose of doing that is to curb sexual desires. In some countries, it’s illegal, but India has no laws against khatna or FGM/C. The World Health Organization (WHO) considers it harmful for girls in many ways and has no health benefits. It includes damaging healthy tissues in females and causes trouble with the natural function of girls’ bodies. Many survivors have experienced pain, lifelong physical and psychological trauma. Some immediate complications include: Severe pain; Excessive bleeding; Vaginal infections; Wound healing problems; Shock; And in some cases death. Firstly, let me make this clear, I’m not against any religion but also do not support any religion in that way. What I mean is, I’m not against any religion but also I don’t have blind faith in it. I think there’s a major difference between beliefs and faith that our society needs to understand. I believe: If you do good, you will get good. I have read many articles on FGM/C. Community guidelines say ‘khafz take place for maintaining the taharat (pureness) and for spiritual purity.’ After reading it I felt like I would burn from inside, what has the world come down to. My heart was broken. Cutting out a human body part for spiritual purity; why would god give you something which makes you spiritually impure and then ask you to cut it off to become spiritually pure? I really don’t understand the logic behind FGM/C. What is the point of education that you are talking about? We are nurturing ourselves with modern education, reading about all atrocities going on in the world, when the same thing happens in our society; we are blind folded letting this happen. Many people have said that khatna is a good thing to do. It decreases sexual desires. So to that I ask, how do you know that a girl at age seven has sexual desires? Some had written in an article that it keeps the girl decent so girls won’t enter into adultery later, so on that I’m asking, where is the evidence of that? If we want our daughters to be pure, let’s teach them that they are strong and powerful women. They are in control of their own minds and bodies and they can use them wisely. When she was born, you promised to protect her. At the age of seven, they trust their family and parents the most. Parents tell them not to interact with strangers or not to let anyone touch you in your private areas, still it’s the family who takes them for khatna and allows strangers to touch and cut their girl’s clitoris. Why do something terrible to your girl which can leave scars on a mental level? People have to change their minds about old rules and regulations which they follow in the name of ‘tradition’. Families have a big role in ending FGM/C or khafz. Protect our girls. Our girls matter! I want to say a few things. I’m talking about this not for the sake of talking but for contributing to the voice that the Islamic religion (Bohra) seems to be avoiding. They have been avoiding it for years, but you can make sure they don’t avoid contributing by talking about this. Social media, I honestly believe, is one of the most powerful platforms. Otherwise also suppose- You are a teacher – you can probably discuss with your institution at the next assembly you can talk to your students about this. If you are in company you can hold a meeting in your office and talk about child abuse. Talk about this issue a little bit and tell people they need to speak up too. Maybe you can organise an activity or webinar regarding this issue. Whatever is in your capacity or power, do it please. It’s a harmful and outdated practice that needs to stop. Use your voice. It will definitely take time to go away but it doesn’t mean we keep sitting quietly. They are survivors, not victims. I’m a modern feminist and Bohra girl. I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor. I almost sat quietly, i didn’t talk about it but then I realised I must and so must you. Time to step forward for our daughters. Protest, speak up, fight for your daughters and let’s hope that the world changes for the better.
Why one Bohra woman shared her experience with female genital cutting publicly
By Jenny Cordle On February 5th of last year, one day before the International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting (FGM/C), Zahra Khozema, 24, shared her deeply personal story of having been cut as a member of the Dawoodi Bohra sect in Pakistan. “Being part of the Bohra community is feeling like a part of something,” Khozema said. “Though we are scattered around the world, we’re tightly knit. You can find a Bohra person in a crowd because of the colorful ridas women wear. And I promise you even if you don’t know them, they will approach you. I could be stranded in any city, and if I saw a Bohra person (from their clothing) I would sigh in relief because I know they’d let me in their home, or help me in any way they could. We’re a big family and we refer to everyone as brother and sister.” Despite being considered a progressive community, many members of the Dawoodi Bohra sect of Shia Islam still prioritize female genital cutting, or khatna, for girls as young as 7 years old. The Dawoodi Bohra population comprises up to one million people in countries such as India, Pakistan, Yemen, Kenya, Egypt, Tanzania and South Africa. Diaspora communities also live in Europe, Australia and the United States. “I hate that even though our community does so much good work, it’s small and not mainstream, and we’re only going to be remembered for this practice by people who don’t know Bohras in real life,” she said. Khozema, who currently resides in London, said this in reference to the 2018 U.S. case of a Michigan doctor, Jumana Nagarwala, who was initially charged with performing FGM/C on at least nine girls with the alleged help of Dr. Fakhruddin Attar, his wife, Farida Attar, and five other residents of Michigan and Minnesota. Judge Bernard Friedman dropped the FGM/C charges, declaring the 1996 federal ban on FGM/C as unconstitutional, in what pro-khatna people may have considered a victory. But on January 5th of this year, the H.R. 6100-STOP FGM Act was signed into law criminalizing FGC in the U.S., stating that religious or cultural beliefs may not be used in defense of the practice. It was in reading about the 2018 case that Khozema realized that what happened to her was a source of buried trauma. “I will never stand by the practice, but I’m glad the case was an awakening for many Bohras like me to really think about the way we treat girls and women and why — because so many men didn’t even know about it,” she said. “A couple of my Bohra guy friends told me they stopped coming to the mosque after they read this story because they only found out about it then. These are men in their mid-twenties. That alone says a lot.” Because of the secrecy surrounding the practice, Khozema was hesitant to share her experience with anyone. Her younger sister discouraged her from writing it altogether. But Khozema felt an urge to share it, despite potential repercussions. Many outspoken FGM/C activists face significant backlash within the Bohra community. This backlash can entail being ostracized, shamed, or having internet trolls harass those that speak out, claiming that speaking out is a “defamation of the faith, its leader and those who practice” khatna. Her piece was one of the top 50 stories of the year for Broadview Magazine in 2020. As she suspected, many women sought her out to share their stories of having been cut. “I wasn’t that surprised because 90% of the women I know have been through it,” Khozema said. “I was surprised that they just responded to my story positively. Non-Bohra friends assured me that this happens a lot in their own countries like India and Egypt.” “A lot of people called me brave and strong for putting such a personal topic out there, but I honestly didn’t think it was,” she said. “I felt quite small and vulnerable, and even petty for not sharing it with the people who needed to see it the most — Bohra people my parents’ age.” Khozema does not encourage women to share their stories if they are not ready. Instead, she encourages women and men to open up dialogue about khatna within their communities. “I would encourage Bohra men and women to talk to their parents, and most importantly, new moms of girls,” she explained. “Ask them if khatna is something they’re considering and really ask why. ‘Do you really know why you’d do it to your daughter or are you just following blind tradition? Are you really willing to take your child to someone with scissors in a dark basement?’” She said writing and sharing the piece did help her to heal in a sense. “I spoke to so many people who assured me it was okay to write this,” Khozema said. “I also learned to face that some people will always be okay with it, and to know when to stop fighting with people who have made up their minds.” After having written and shared the piece publicly, Khozema is in a better place and feels “lighter.” But psychologically and physically, the harm remains. “Intimacy, unfortunately, will always be difficult for me,” she said. “The shame I feel about not fully having control of my body will always be there.”
Texas woman charged for Female Genital Cutting: Sahiyo press statement
A woman from Houston, Texas (USA) has been charged under federal United States’ law for transporting a minor out of the country for the purpose of Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting (FGM/C). According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) which is investigating this case, the 39-year-old woman allegedly transported the child sometime between July 10 to October 14, 2016. This is the first time that the US Department of Justice has indicted anyone under this specific clause of the US anti-FGM/C law, i.e, transporting a minor girl outside of US borders to facilitate the practice of genital cutting. While FGM/C has been illegal in the United States since 1996, this clause was introduced in 2013. The FBI is investigating the case with the support of the Human Rights Violators and War Crimes Center, a government agency that works to identify, locate and prosecute human rights abusers in the US. While further details about this case are awaited, it is important to note that the Houston woman has not been charged under the new federal anti-FGM/C law that was signed by the US President on January 5. Since the alleged crime took place in 2016, she has been charged under section 116(d) of the older federal law against FGM/C. The older federal law has been the subject of controversy since April 2017, when two Michigan doctors and six other members of the Dawoodi Bohra community became the first people to be prosecuted for performing/facilitating FGM/C on at least nine minor girls in the Michigan area. In November 2018, even though a US District Court judge acknowledged that FGM/C was a “despicable” practice, he ruled that the federal law prohibiting it was unconstitutional. This ruling was based on a technicality: the judge stated that FGM/C is considered a “local criminal activity” to be looked into at the state level rather than the federal or national level. The ruling triggered a controversy because it placed girls in the US at the risk of being cut. Only 39 out of 50 US states currently have laws prohibiting FGM/C, allowing room for girls to be transported across state borders to be subjected to the practice. The new “Stop FGM Act of 2020”, signed by the government this month, closes this loophole and allows federal authorities to prosecute people suspected of carrying out FGC anywhere in the country. Sahiyo statement: We at Sahiyo have been advocating for a complete end to the harmful practice of Female Genital Cutting, also known as Khatna or Khafz in the Dawoodi Bohra community, since 2015. FGC is a violation of the rights and bodily integrity of women and girls, and can have long-term physical, psychological and sexual consequences for them. In light of this indictment of the Houston woman, we strongly urge members of all FGC-practicing communities to completely abandon this age-old ritual, not just because it is illegal in the US and several other countries, but because it is harmful, patriarchal, medically unnecessary, and detrimental to the well-being of girls and women. At the same time, we also urge all global media publications to report on this case — and on the subject of FGC — with sensitivity and nuance. We request the media to refrain from vilifying specific communities, or using terms such as “barbaric” or “mutilation” that might trigger a survivor’s trauma. To learn more, check out Sahiyo’s Guide: A Resource Guide To Best Practice For Sensitive and Effective Reporting on FGM/C. For more information, email info@sahiyo.com or to contact Sahiyo U.S., email mariya@sahiyo.com.
ખતના ના ખૂનથી લથબથ હાથ અને એ દીકરીઓની ચીસો ક્યારે પોહચશે આ સમાજ સુધી?
લેખક: અનામિકા ગુજરાત (લેખિકા ગુજરાતના એક સુસંસ્કૃત ગ્રામ્ય માહોલામાં જન્મ લઈને ગુજરાતના એક મોટા શહેરમાં દાઉદી વહોરા સમાજમાં પ્રવર્તી કુપ્રથાઓ અને કુરિવાજો સામે બંડ પોકારે છે. સ્ત્રી સમુદાયમાં પોતાનો આવાજ શબ્દો ચોર્યા વગર વ્યક્ત કરવાની હિમત અને ક્ષમ્તા ધરાવે છે.) દાઉદી વ્હોરા સમાજની માફક આફ્રિકાના અમુક દેશમાં નાની ઉમરની છોકરીઓની સુન્નત થાય છે. પરંતુ છેલ્લા 20 વર્ષોમાં આફ્રિકન દેશોમાં આ વિષે હવે જોરસોરથી આવાજ ઉઠવાય છે. તો ભારતમાં સૌથી સમૃદ્ધ અને શિક્ષિત ગણાતા વ્હોરા સમાજમાં હજુ આ વિષે સ્ત્રીઓ કેમ બોલતી નથી? આ માટે એક સુન્નત/ખતના પીડિત ગુજરાતની શિક્ષિત વહોરા મહિલા તરીકે મેં મારો અવાજ બુલંદ કરવાનું નક્કી કર્યું છે. હું મારા પુરુષ પ્રધાન સમાજ અને ખાસ કરીને મારા ધર્મગુરુ વર્ગને પૂછવા માંગુ છું કે, શું વહોરા દીકરી પર સાત વર્ષની ઉંમરે થતો આ એક પ્રકારનો પુરુષ પ્રધાન બળાત્કાર નથી? કુદરતે જે શારીરિક રચના, જેને માટે નિર્ધારિત કરી છે, તેનો યથાતથ (જેમનો તેમ) ઉપયોગ શુ તે માટે જ ના થવો જોઈએ? હવે તો મને પણ સવાલ થાય છે કે કુદરતે એ અંગજ શુ કામ બનાવ્યું હતું? ક્યારેય વિચાર્યું છે, અનુભવ્યું છે, એ દીકરીઓ પર નાની ઉમરે શારીરિક અને માનસીક કેવા આઘાત જીરવતી હશે? એ ડર કે શરમના લીધે ભલે બોલે નહિ, પણ આખી જિંદગી તેની તેને પીડા થતી હોય છે. મને તો એવો પ્રશ્ન પણ થાય છે કે શું વ્હોરા સમાજના પુરષોમાં પોતાની પત્નીને શારીરિક સુખ આપવાની શક્તિ કે ક્ષમ્તા નથી? મને તો એવું લાગે છે કે પુરુષના સુખ માટે અને ધર્મગુરુના આદેશ ને વશ થઈને ડરના લીધે માતાઓ દીકરીઓ સાથે આ અત્યાચાર થવા દે છે. જેથી પુરુષ તેની દુર્બળતા છુપાવી શકે. જો આ શબ્દોથી પુરુષ જાતને માનસિક ઠેસ પોહચતી હોય, તો તેણે એટલું તો જરૂર વિચારવું જોઈએ કે એક સ્ત્રી ઉપર તે પોતાનું પ્રભુત્વ સ્થાપવા મઝહબના નામે અને પોતાના આનંદ માટે અત્યાચાર કરે છે. દાઉદી વ્હોરા સમાજમાં સ્ત્રી ખતના/સુન્નત વિષે લાંબા સમયથી વિવાદ ચાલી રહ્યો છે, યુનાઈટેડ નેશન્સનું ભારત સરકાર પર દબાણ છે, કેટલીક ક્રાંતિકારી યુવા મહિલાઓએ ધર્મગુરુ દ્વારા પ્રોત્સાહિત કરાતી આ બિનઆવશ્યક નઠારી પ્રથાનો વિરોધ કરવા ઝંડો ઉપાડ્યો છે. આ કુપ્રથા પર પ્રતિબંધ મુકવા સુપ્રીમ કોર્ટની મધ્યસ્થી ચાહતી એક અરજી, સુનાવણી માટે પેન્ડીંગ પડી છે. મારે તો કહેવું છે કે સમાજની તમામ સ્ત્રીઓ એ આવાજ ઉઠાવો જ જોઈએ. ક્યાં સુધી વેહમો અને અંધશ્રદ્ધાના નામ પર આવી કુપ્રથાના ગુલામ બની રેહશો? તમારી સાથે જે અત્યાચાર થયો તે હવે પછીની સમાજની કોઈ પણ દીકરી સાથે ના થવો જોઈએ. ઘરના બુજુર્ગ, ખાસ કરીને મહિલાઓ, ના માને તો માતા-પિતાએ તો પોતાની દીકરી માટે સજાગ થવુ જ જોઈએ. મારી દીકરીને આ કુપ્રથામાથી બચાવી લેવા મારા કુટુંબ સાથે મેં જબ્બર સંઘર્ષ કર્યો અને હું હારી ગઈ. હું આ લખી રહી છું ત્યારે પણ મારા રૂવાડા ઊભા થઈ જાય છે. મારી નજર સામેથી મેં મારી સાવ અણસમજ દીકરી સાથે આચરેલી દુષ્ટતા માટે મને ખુબ પસ્તાવો પણ થઇ રહ્યો છે. મારી દીકરીની અને મારી ખુદની ચીસો મારા કાનમાં હજુ પણ ગુંજે છે, ક્યારેક રાતે ઉઠીને પસ્તાવો કરું છું. મે મારા પતિને ખૂબ સમજાવ્યા પણ તે ગુલામ માનસિકતા ધરાવતા અને ડરપોક નીકળ્યા, હું હારી ગઈ મારી દીકરીની સામે. આજે જ્યારે પાછુવાળીને ભૂતકાળને યાદ કરું છું, મારા ભાગ્યને દોષ આપું છું, મારી જાતને પૂછું છું, હું દીકરીને લઇ ભાગી કેમ નો ગઇ? જો આમ કર્યું હોત તો આજે આ મનસ્થિતિનો માનસિક શિકાર ન બની હોત. હું નથી ખુદને માફ કરી શકતી, ના મારા પતિ કે પરિવાર ને. પરિપક્વ થયેલી મારી દીકરી આજે મને પૂછે છે “માં મારી સાથે તે આવું શુકામ થવા દીધું?” આજે પણ હું મારી જાતને ગુનેગાર ગણી મૂંગી થઇ જાઉં છું. હું પણ મારી મને પૂછતી હોઉં છું કે કેવી પીડા અને દર્દ મેં સહન કર્યું હતું એ વખતે. કેટલું લોહી જીવતા અંગના છેદનથી વહી જાય છે, કેવી જહ્ન્નમી પીડા થાય છે, તે ક્યારેય આ ધર્મગુરૂઓ કે પુરુષો શું સમજી શકે છે? નહિ સમજે માં નહિ સમજે એ લોકો. સ્ત્રીઓ તો મૂરખાની જેમ ગુલામ બની જીવમાં પોતે બહુ ધાર્મિક છે તે દેખાડવામાં બધું ચુપચાપ સહન જ કરે રાખે છે. અને પાછી તે વાતનો ગર્વ લેતા પણ શરમાતી નથી. આ વાત એક દીકરીને સમજાય છે. શું કહવતા પ્રગતિશીલ ગણાતી વોહરા કોમને આ વાત સમજાય છે? મારો આત્મા મને દરરોજ ઢંઢોળે છે, હચમચાવે છે. ક્યાં સુધી અંધશ્રદ્ધા અને વેહમના નામે કેટલીએ માસૂમ દીકરીઓનો આ સમાજ ભોગ લેશે? મારા સમાજને હું પૂછું છું. ખાસ કરીને સમાજના પુરુષોને કે ક્યારેય વિચાર્યું, આ ગંદી માનસિકતા અને ગંદો રીવાજ ક્યાંથી કેમ આવ્યો? ક્યારેય મૂળ સુધી પોહચવાનો પ્રયત્ન કર્યો? મને સુપર મોડેલ વારીસ ડીરીનું પુસ્તક “ડેજર્ટ ફ્લાવર” યાદ આવી રહ્યું છે. તેણે લખેલો આફ્રિકન ઇતિહાસ જોશો તો, તમારા રુવાડા ખાડા થઇ જશે. આફ્રિકન સ્ત્રી બાળકો પર કેવી બર્બરતા આચરવામાં આવી રહી છે. તેનું તાદ્સ વર્ણન આ પુસ્તકમાં કરવામાં આવ્યું છે. આ પુસ્તકે આફ્રિકન સમાજમાં ક્રાંતિ આણી છે. આફ્રિકન સમાજ હવે આ કુપ્રથામાંથી બહાર નીકળવા લાગ્યો છે. યુનાઈટેડ નેશન્સને તેની નોંધ લેવાની ફરજ પડી છે. હું હવે જે વાત કહેવા જઈ રહી છું, તેના પુરાવા મળી જશે. ભારત પર વરમાર બહારથી મુસ્લિમો ચઢાઈ કરતા તે આપણે બધા જાણીએ છીએ. તે દરમિયાન તે વચ્ચે આવતા ગામો અને સ્ત્રીઓને લુંટતા. આ વાત જગ જાહેર છે. પુરુષને તેનું પુરુષતત્વ, સ્ત્રી પર અત્યાચાર કરી ને જ તો દેખાડવું હોય છે. સદીઓથી એમજ થતું આવે છે. વારંવારની ચઢાઈ પછી ત્યાં લૂટવા જેવુ કાઇ નથી તેની સાબિતી રૂપે સ્ત્રી નું નાક અને જનાનાંગ વિધતો, આ સચ્ચઈ છે. એટ્લે તો આપણા સમાજમાં દીકરીની સુન્નત/ખતના પછી સ્ત્રીઓ, નાક વીંધ્વ્યુ તેમ બોલતી. આ તમને યાદ હશે જ? અને પછી જ નાક વિન્ધવામાં આવતું. ત્યારની અવદશા અને માનસિક પીડા દીકરીઓને કદી ભુલાતી નથી . આજની યુવા પેઢીને આની જાણ નહીં હોય. કેમ કે તે સંપૂર્ણ ગુલામી સાથે મોટી થઈ છે. આપણી સ્ત્રીઓ ખત્નાની માફક નાની બાળકીનું નાક પણ વીંધતી. કેમ હવે નાક વીંધવાનું બંધ થયું? બસ ઉપરથી ધર્મગુરુનો આદેશ થયો એટલે માની લેવાનું? કેમ વિચાર ના આવ્યો? આપણાં સમાજમાં ચૂક પેહરવાની પ્રથા બંધ કરવામાં આવી, ધર્મગુરુના આદેશ આવ્યા પેહલાથી જ મે ચૂક/નથ પેહરવાનું બંધ કરેલુ. પુસ્તકોનાં વાંચન દ્વારા તે સચ્ચઈની મને ખબર પડી હતી. તેને સુહગની નિશાની ગણાતી. સાવ અચાનક તે નાકનું ઘરેણું પેહરવાની મનાઈ થઈ ગઈ. આ વાતને આપણે સ્ત્રી સુન્નત/ખતના સાથે ચૂક પેહરવાનુ બંધ થય શકતું હોય તો આ ભયાનક ખતના પ્રથા બંધ થવી જ જોઈએ. એ જોડીને જોવાનું કેમ નથી વિચારતા? આને હું માસૂમ બાળકીઓ ઉપર કાયદેસરનો બળાત્કાર/રેપ જ ગણું છું. મને દાઉદી વહોરા સમાજના પુરુષો પ્રત્યે ધૃણા/નફરતની લાગણી
Crying out our mothers’ grief: How we allowed female genital mutilation to flourish in our communities
By Tamanna Taher When I began writing an article on female genital mutilation (FGM), I was adamant that my research be thorough, and my opinions be carefully articulated. However, I did not realise the mammoth task the latter would become. It has been two years since I started writing this article. I was a sophomore in college when I began, and I sit here as a senior, writing to pledge my solidarity to end FGM. My parents had managed to shield me from the hushed conversations that I always knew were happening. I was 14 years old when I was finally let into the discussions recounting personal experiences and stories from survivors in the family. I remember sitting in the backseat of my parents’ car, asking what they were whispering about. My father said it was okay to tell me, and explained FGM, or khatna, as it is known in the Dawoodi Bohra community. “It is when a female is circumcised.” “Circumcised? How? What?” “They (carefully separating us and them), believe that for a woman to be pure, she must undergo a surgical procedure in which she is circumcised.” “Oh.” At this moment, I was as any teenager finding out about such an issue would be – very uncomfortable. Deciding not to ask anything else, I sat back and wondered what exactly was there to be circumcised down there. This went on for a few very silent weeks. However, I finally mustered enough courage to ask the question that had been haunting me. Had it been done to me? I remember awkwardly questioning my mum one day, asking whether I was so young that I did not even remember. She informed me that she was vehemently against it, and neither me, nor my sister, had this procedure done. She said she would never, as she was a victim of it herself: a victim of family traditions and beliefs, and another one of the countless victims of groupthink. She said that she remembered her experience, and it was not something a woman forgets. She was seven years old. My mum never called herself a victim. She told me that she had never understood it fully. At the time she drew a parallel between being cut and getting an ear piercing. That is why, she explains now, she never questioned her mother. That is why she believes her mother never questioned my great grandmother. She thought of it as a necessity of growing up – not a religious doctrine, but a cultural tradition. I have chosen the words victim and survivor very purposefully. I believe if this had truly been something she did not feel was an injustice to women around the world, my mother would have chosen us to carry the burden of the tradition. But she stepped back, separating herself from the powerful clutches of “Log kya kahenge?” (“What will people say?”) She saved her daughters from the injustice she was too young to save herself from. I will forever be grateful to my mother, for being so brave and standing up against members of the family she loved and trusted, fighting them and protecting us from the practice that she had to suffer from herself, of which countless others still have to suffer the consequences. I began asking the women around me whether they had been subjected to any form of FGM. I was appalled at how many of them said yes. I was even more revolted when I found out that my family had been divided by this issue. There were people around me that agreed with what was happening, so much so that they decided to boycott all the members of the family who saw FGM for what it was – child abuse. This was a confusing time for me. I was very close to a cousin of mine who defended the right to have been cut. She saw it as something that should be a choice. I was almost swayed by her. I regret that I allowed that to happen, and I am embarrassed that I did not realise sooner the repercussions of staying silent in such situations. I see now that khatna is not a choice. The girls who are cut are not consenting. They are usually ignorant about what is being done to them – realising the effects only in adulthood, and at which point they must silently bear the psychological pain and trauma. A girl, in the moment, might only feel the excruciating pain of the instrument being used to perform the procedure, but when she becomes a woman, she will realise that the cuts run deeper than what she previously thought. This is why so many people have begun to speak up. This is exactly why Sahiyo – United Against Female Genital Cutting as an organization exists. Children cannot make these decisions, and you cannot legally call them consenting beings. They do not have full knowledge, and they do not realise the gravity. To anyone who argues otherwise, I would like to present several stories. One of the women I spoke to told me that she had been promised ice cream if she went. She was only 8 years old; an adult would recognise that as manipulation. Another told me that her mother said she was going to see a doctor because she was sick. That is universally recognised as deceit. I even had someone tell me that her mother had slapped her and told her that she was doing this for God. That is plain and simple coercion. But, most importantly, all of the above is child abuse, manifesting in its verbal, emotional and physical forms. You might be thinking, but what will speaking up do? We need you to understand that every voice matters because we are speaking for those that had been stripped of theirs. You may also be thinking there is so much awareness. The number of girls subjected to this must be falling. That is far
Conversations with my mom about khatna and betrayal
By Zahara Kagalwalla I am a chatty person. I call up my best friend and prattle to him even about the most mundane development in my life like the latest teatime snack I gobbled (muesli, definitely a poorly thought out choice). So when I am distressed, there is furor on the phone. Despite my love for babbling and our nine years of friendship, Phiroze did not know about my khatna experience, or female genital cutting, until very recently. I preferred to tuck it away in a corner of my brain because if I don’t acknowledge it, I can avoid processing the trauma. When I departed for university, things changed. I picked up a gender studies major and began learning about concepts such as informed consent and an individual’s right over their own body. This made me more and more uncomfortable with my “ignorance is bliss” policy. The trauma that I had successfully managed to bury in my subconscious emerged, and I finally began the journey toward understanding what happened to me ten years ago. Simply, I was cut, and I don’t like it. In fact, I was infuriated. One fine day, I decided to dial-up my mom and have a conversation, but really it wasn’t a conversation. I went in ready to pick a fight. I was the victim and my mother was the perpetrator. How could you? My accusatory tone coupled with my hot tears put her in defensive mode. She justified her actions: “We took you to a doctor, not to an unqualified middlewoman in Bhendi Bazaar. You experienced no pain.” “Khatna doesn’t affect your life; it is ritualistic.” “Maasi, I, and aunty have all undergone khatna. We are just fine even thirty years later.” With emotions running high, I was unable to communicate my point. Whether it hurts or not, whether the procedure was done in a doctor’s clinic or not, nothing changes the fact that it is my body and my rules. This definitely wasn’t a conversation. Two years later, I realized that I left empathy at the doorstep during my first discussion about khatna with my mother. I disregarded that she came from a place of love, and she never intended to cause me any harm. I did not even bother to understand the kind of social pressure she faced from my extended family, and how her expressions of discomfort with the ritual were severely squashed. I failed to acknowledge the constant guilt she lives with for compelling her daughter to partake in a primitive tradition, particularly when she witnesses my personal struggle toward self-acceptance. She fought for me, but the tremendous social pressure did not let her win. Always uncomfortable and unsure about the ritual, my mother has now taken a stance against it. She couldn’t protect me, but she will protect her future granddaughter. Now we fight against khatna together, confident that my daughter will not face female genital cutting.
Research study explores female genital cutting
“Talking about Female Genital Cutting (FGC): A Study” is a research study undertaken to explore the way communities talk about FGC, the challenges of having such conversations, and the attitudes toward movements and campaigns on FGC. The study is authored by Reetika Revathy Subramanian and funded by Grand Challenges Canada. The project has been led by Vasavya Mahila Mandali from 2019-20 in association with Sahiyo India. This multi-disciplinary study investigates communication attitudes and challenges for having a conversation/s on khatna or FGC. It adopts a mixed-methods approach using an in-depth qualitative survey and feminist focus group discussions, both anchored online, to explore the links between the need for privacy and feminist-led advocacy in the existing public conversations and contestations on the practice of FGC in India and globally. The findings of the research seek to explore a connection between the need for privacy and feminist-led digital-safe spaces. The survey questionnaire for this study is open to all Bohras above 18 years of age, and it is available in three languages: Take the survey in English. Take the survey in Gujarati. Take the survey in Hindi.