Reflecting on Our Father’s Day Bhaiyo Campaign
We would like to thank all of those who participated in our public awareness campaign surrounding male engagement in the movement against FGC. In honor of Father’s Day 2024, Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, launched a campaign to help survivors and activists have productive conversations with the men in their lives about FGC. Throughout June and into July, we shared videos, quotes and articles on our social media platforms and blog, highlighting how men can raise awareness about FGC and voicing their support for ending the practice. We encourage you to take a look at the inspiring blogs and posts that were published throughout this campaign: Breaking the Silence: A Conversation with My Father About FGM/C The practice of khatna on girls must stop / છોકરીઓ પર ખત્નાની પ્રથા બંધ થવી જોઈએ Starting the Dialogue: Sharing Your Experiences on Initiating Conversations with Men about Female Genital Cutting Ending FGM – Fight the Mansplaining, Toxic Masculinity, and Patriarchy To view the social media posts from this campaign please visit our Instagram page @sahiyovoices. Once again we would like to thank all of those who participated in the campaign, your efforts to engage in difficult, thought provoking, and important conversations with the men in your lives is crucial in the movement to end FGC. To learn more about Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, click here. /images/bhaiyofathersday.png
Ending FGM – Fight the Mansplaining, Toxic Masculinity, and Patriarchy
By: Brad Mazon (originally published on Brad’s blog and reshared with his permission) I’ve been involved with, and have worked against, the torture of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) since I worked with the U.S. Department of State in Somalia as a graduate school intern. The #EndFGM movement has experienced many successes over the years in terms of anti-FGM legislation and engaging men and boys in learning about this human rights violation. As I sat in on a webinar last week designed to discuss strategies to bring men aboard as partners in this fight, I realized how steeped in the patriarchy some of my male colleagues were. Their solutions to ending the practice, while well-meaning, seemed to value mens’ perspectives and approaches over those of women and girls. So I simply wrote in a Zoom comment: “I’m concerned that some of you believe that only men can end FGM. Men and women are equal, so if you are continually returning to the men in a community for their approval and participation to end FGM, then you are perpetuating the very men-oriented approaches that got girls and women into this mess in the first place.’ Seemingly the only white Western male on the call, I waited with baited breath for responses. I understood that men need to be involved in ending FGM, and wanted only to question my well-meaning male colleagues to question their own, and indeed their own cultures’, male privilege. Phew! Some lovely heart emojis appeared, and some thumbs up too. I was relieved, even if my comment might have ruffled some male feathers. I had to leave the Zoom call, but hope that my comment meaningfully added to the discussion of ending this scourge. These men are on the front lines, working to end FGM. I merely encouraged them to keep male privilege, mansplaining, and toxic masculinity in check. In honor of Father’s Day 2024, Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, has launched a month-long public awareness campaign to uplift the importance of male voices and allies in ending FGC. If you would like to contribute, please email sheena@sahiyo.org. Related: The practice of khatna on girls must stop Starting the Dialogue: Sharing Your Experiences on Initiating Conversations with Men about Female Genital Cutting Breaking the Silence: A Conversation with My Father About FGM/C How to have effective conversations about FGC Why men too must speak out against Khatna
Starting the Dialogue: Sharing Your Experiences on Initiating Conversations with Men about Female Genital Cutting
By: Noor Mohamed Initiating conversations about female genital cutting (FGC) can potentially pose significant challenges, particularly when engaging with men. Yet, these discussions can play a vital role in fostering an understanding of and helping to drive positive change toward abandonment of FGC within communities. Exploring this sensitive topic with men opens avenues for uncovering deeply held beliefs, cultural nuances, and personal experiences that can shed light on the complexities surrounding FGC. It is through these conversations that we gain deeper insights into the underlying factors influencing attitudes toward FGC and pave the way for meaningful dialogue and collaboration toward addressing this issue. Navigating Sensitive Conversations: Unveiling Perspectives on Female Genital Cutting For my master’s thesis on the cultural acceptance or condemnation of female genital cutting in the USA, engaging with fathers turned out to be pivotal in my research success and was central to my learning. Here’s how I approached it. A Respectful Approach As a Sudanese researcher (EM), it was important for me to conduct interviews with respect and politeness, because respecting men is a big part of my culture. In our community, a woman’s reputation can be easily damaged if sensitive topics are discussed too openly. So, I made sure to meet each person respectfully, making them feel valued and comfortable. I initiated discussions by focusing on women’s roles in society and the family to create a formal yet inviting atmosphere for fathers to share their thoughts openly. Navigating Sensitive Topics: Sensitive topics, including intimate matters, were avoided, such as: how does a wife with cut genitals experience sex? Is sexual intercourse a source of joy for both partners or does it involve pain? Did they seek the help of a midwife to dilate the vaginal orifice in their early sexual life, if sexual intercourse was not possible due to the small vaginal orifice size? Additionally, questions regarding men’s enjoyment during sex were avoided, and women’s health issues, such as irregular menstrual cycles, were not discussed. Avoiding these types of questions allowed fathers to feel more comfortable and less stressed during the interviews. In many cultures, discussing intimate life can be a sensitive issue that might hinder the continuation of the interview. Therefore, I ensured these topics were avoided to maintain a conducive environment for dialogue. Unveiling Perspectives on FGC Once the initial trust was established and we were discussing women as the center of the project, the conversations moved to opinions on FGC, religious perspectives, and whether they would consider FGC for their daughters. I emphasized that my aim was not to make them oppose FGC but to understand their perspectives. Insights and Reflections These conversations revealed the underlying factors influencing men’s support for FGC and helped identify potential advocates for future anti-FGC educational initiatives. Men who supported the practice often justified it by citing religious reasons, while those against it stressed the importance of education against the practice and expressed their willingness to be part of educational communities. Some fathers felt so comfortable in the discussion that they shared personal stories about their childhood female friends who underwent the practice, describing how these friends were bedridden and unable to play with them. Catalyst for Change Treating participants with genuine courtesy facilitated candid discussions about the complexities of FGC and the challenges of addressing it within communities. In Sudanese culture, men have a significant influence, as their words are highly respected. They have the authority to prevent the practice of female genital cutting (FGC) from being imposed on their daughters or younger sisters, overriding the influence of grandmothers and wives who might support the tradition. Additionally, men can freely discuss with other men why FGC is a harmful practice without fear of being judged. This cultural dynamic underscores the importance of engaging men in discussions and decisions regarding FGC Concluding thoughts Discussing FGC with fathers has its challenges, but the rewards for understanding and potentially intervening to change social norms come from talking to all concerned with respect, dignity, and an eye to learning diverse perspectives on a very important issue. Even when interviewing women, respect was paramount. This respect is a way to show that I, as an interviewer, am still following our cultural norms when it comes to talking about sensitive topics like FGC, which matters greatly to participants. It is important not to stress that FGC is a wrong practice. The interview or discussion should show that you are someone seeking others’ opinions about the practice. This approach helps avoid arguments and enables the collection of adequate information that can help in building future research or educational plans. In honor of Father’s Day 2024, Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, has launched a month-long public awareness campaign to uplift the importance of male voices and allies in ending FGC. If you would like to contribute, please email sheena@sahiyo.org. Related: Breaking the Silence: A Conversation with My Father About FGM/C How to have effective conversations about FGC Why men too must speak out against Khatna The practice of khatna on girls must stop
The practice of khatna on girls must stop / છોકરીઓ પર ખત્નાની પ્રથા બંધ થવી જોઈએ
By Hakim Rangwala Even in today’s modern age, when Mukesh Ambani entrusted his daughter Isha with the management of a multi-crore retail business, there exists a very repulsive and harmful practice among the Dawoodi Bohra, a Shia sub-sect that generally looks modern and reformist on the surface. When a girl is young, the Bohras cut her clitoris. They believe this to be a religious rite, and even today, well-educated Bohras and those with big businesses strictly practice it. Among Bohras all over the world, this practice of khatna is done by women themselves, and in cities and towns where there is no such woman, girls are taken abroad for it. This organ given by nature [the clitoris], which gives women the maximum sexual pleasure, is called ‘bhrugankur’ in Gujarati. Taking it away from a woman is a harm like no other. This is the only one. A few years ago, a case was filed against three Bohras in Australia for carrying out this practice of khatna on two young girls. This practice is illegal in Australia and other Western countries. Because of this case, the Bohra jamaats in Sydney and other such Western cities issued notices to the local communities not to perform khatna on girls. Now, some humanitarians have filed a legal appeal in court to demand that this practice is banned in India. I think it is not too much to expect that the good people reading this should also join in making this demand to abolish this harmful practice. Hakim’s blog post was originally written in Gujarati. Here is the untranslated version: મુકેશ અંબાણીએ દીકરી ઈશાને લાખો-કરોડો રૂપિયાના વહીવટનો રિટેઇલ વેપાર સોંપીને સ્ત્રી પ્રત્યે સન્માન અને વિશ્વાસ દાખવ્યો એવા આજના આધુનિક યુગમાં પણ ઈસ્લામના શિયા સંપ્રદાયનો પેટા સંપ્રદાય દાઉદી વ્હોરા, જે સામાન્ય રીતે ઉપરથી આધુનિક અને સુધારાવાદી દેખાય છે, એ વ્હોરાઓમાં એક અતિ ધૃણાજનક અને ક્રૂર પ્રક્રિયા અસ્તિત્વમાં છે. સ્ત્રી જ્યારે નાની બાળકી હોય છે ત્યારે આ વ્હોરાઓ એ બાળકીના ક્લાઈટોરીસ નું છેદન કરાવે છે. આ ક્રિયાને તેઓ ધાર્મિકતા સમજે છે અને મોટા કહેવાતા ઉદ્યોગપતિઓ, ભણેલા- ગણેલા દાઉદી વ્હોરાઓ પણ આ ક્રિયાનું ચુસ્ત પાલન કરે છે આજના યુગમાં પણ. દુનિયા આખીમાં સ્ત્રી ખતના કરવાનું કામ ખુદ વ્હોરા સ્ત્રીઓ જ કરતી હોય છે અને જ્યા એવી સ્ત્રી ન રહેતી હોય એ ગામ-શહેરના લોકો પોતાની બાળકીઓને બહારગામ લઈ જઈને પણ આ ખતના કરાવે છે. સ્ત્રીને સેક્સમાં મહત્તમ આનંદ આપતું કુદરતે એને આપેલું અંગ જેને ગુજરાતીમાં ભૃગાંકુર કહે છે. આ અંગ સ્ત્રી પાસેથી આંચકી લેવું એના જેવી ક્રૂર ક્રિયા બીજી એકેય નથી. આ એક અને અજોડ ક્રૂરતા છે. અમુક વર્ષો પહેલા ઓસ્ટ્રેલિયામાં બે યુવતીઓ પર ખત્ના કરવા બદલ ત્રણ વ્હોરા સામે કેસ દાખલ કરવામાં આવ્યો હતો. ઓસ્ટ્રેલિયા અને પશ્ચિમના અન્ય ઘણા દેશોમાં છોકરીઓ પર ખટના ગેરકાયદેસર છે. આ કેસને કારણે, સિડનીમાં અને આમાંના ઘણા પશ્ચિમી શહેરોમાં વ્હોરા જમાતે સ્થાનિક સમુદાયને હવે છોકરીઓ પર ખત્ના ન કરવા સૂચના આપી છે. હવે ભારતમાં આવી ક્રૂર પ્રથા ન હોવી જોઈએ કાયદાથી એવી માંગ અમુક માનવતાવાદી લોકોએ ઉપાડીને કોર્ટમાં અપીલ કરી છે. આ વાંચનાર ભલા લોકોએ પણ આ માંગ માં જોડાવું જોઈએ અને આ ક્રૂર પ્રથા નાબૂદ થવી જોઈએ એવી અપેક્ષા વધુ પડતી નથી જ એવું મને લાગે છે, હો સાહેબ….. In honor of Father’s Day 2024, Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, has launched a month-long public awareness campaign to uplift the importance of male voices and allies in ending FGC. If you would like to contribute, please email sheena@sahiyo.org. Related: Breaking the Silence: A Conversation with My Father About FGM/C How to have effective conversations about FGC Why men too must speak out against Khatna
Breaking the Silence: A Conversation with My Father About FGM/C
By: Sharlon Bolos My father, a Filipino immigrant, was raised in a world where survival was paramount. He never had the opportunity to delve into the complexities of gender inequality. However, I believed it was essential to break the silence and initiate a conversation with him about a topic that is often shrouded in taboo: female genital cutting (FGC). Approaching my father about FGM/C was not an easy task. Growing up, discussions about sensitive topics like this were scarce in our household. Yet, I knew that in order to foster understanding and promote change, I needed to create a space where we could comfortably engage in an open conversation. The opportunity finally presented itself one evening as we sat down to watch TV as we always do. I mustered up the courage to broach the subject, fully aware of the discomfort it might bring. Taking a deep breath, I gently introduced the topic, highlighting its prevalence in certain communities and the harmful effects it has on women and girls. At first, my father seemed taken aback by the sudden shift in conversation. His brows furrowed, indicating his apprehension. However, as I continued, he showed the willingness to engage in conversation and deepen his understanding. To my surprise, he expressed genuine concern for the well-being of women and girls affected by FGC, acknowledging the need for collective action to end this form of gender-based violence. This, in a sense, marked the beginning of a journey towards greater awareness and empathy. My father may not have fully grasped the complexities of gender inequality overnight, but our dialogue opened the door to ongoing discussions and reflection that we may want to explore in the future. In breaking the silence surrounding FGM/C, we pave the way for meaningful change and create a more inclusive and equitable society for future generations. I hope that through continued conversations and advocacy, my father and I in our own ways can work toward ending this harmful practice once and for all. In honor of Father’s Day 2024, Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, has launched a month-long public awareness campaign to uplift the importance of male voices and allies in ending FGC. Throughout the month of June, we’ll be asking community members to share how they have raised the topic of FGC in conversation with men in their lives. If you would like to contribute, please email sheena@sahiyo.org. Related: How to have effective conversations about FGC This Father’s Day, join our campaign
How to have effective conversations about FGC
In honor of Father’s Day 2024, Sahiyo’s male engagement program, Bhaiyo, is launching a public awareness campaign to uplift the importance of male voices and allies in ending female genital cutting or FGC. Recognizing that FGC is a community health issue – not just a woman’s issue – the movement to end FGC needs additional male voices and allies to bring this issue to the forefront. This June, we’ll be holding a month-long campaign asking community members to share how they have raised the topic of FGC in conversation with men in their lives. In order to help create safe, insightful, and positive conversations, we have provided a list of tools, questions, guidelines that can help you facilitate these conversations. Keep in mind you an apply many of these tips to conversations with others in your life as well, not just men. 1) Listening: The simple act of genuinely listening to another person is powerful. Listen with your full attention, without judgment or assumptions. Instead of giving advice or telling a person what to feel or do, be a sounding board and brainstorm options. However, setting appropriate limits is important for effective communication. If someone is being hateful towards you, it is okay to not continue the conversation. 2) Sharing stories during conversations: Storytelling can be intimidating for people who find it hard to believe they have any story worth sharing, especially if it’s about something personal, taboo, or hidden. Yet it’s also empowering, supporting an individual’s ability to think through what it is she wants to say, whom she wants to say it to, and what she hopes will happen as a result, while retaining significant control over the use and distribution of her narrative. As healing as it can be, though, it also comes with its own personal risks: a person may feel more vulnerable and alone after sharing, or might be shamed by others. Create the right conditions for somebody to feel safe to share their story with you and encourage them, but don’t pressure them if they’re not ready. 3) Continued conversations: Social change takes time, and often we may experience that we don’t get the results that we want in one conversation. Therefore, it is important to take stock of what has occurred during the course of the conversation, and allow all parties involved some time and space to reflect on it. However, do not let it be your last conversation. Change can only happen if we are constantly in dialogue with each other. 4) If you’re talking to a man, consider initiating conversations with these questions: When did you first come to know about FGC? What is the role men can play in educating communities about FGC? How can brothers/fathers make an impact in these conversations about ending FGC? What message would you like to give to all the fathers and brothers out there about ending FGC? We hope that this guide and list of questions will help you to have stimulating conversations that are enlightening and constructive. For comments and inquiries about the campaign, please reach out to Samman Masud at samman@sahiyo.org. PS: Sahiyo will soon be launching a survey around male engagement on FGC during our June Father’s Day campaign. We’ll be sharing more information in the future about how to participate! Related: This Father’s Day, join our campaign